After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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