I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
