remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize