I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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