Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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