I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
handjob tips. give me some.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
