found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
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