Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
