I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
3 2 1 whiskey
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
