That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
