$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize