We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb