So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity