Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.