What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.