butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
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No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
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I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will