i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
