The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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