if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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