Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
