someone get that fucking seahorse.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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