matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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