So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
