dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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