i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You took a bar mat shot.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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