So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
