there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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