I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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