He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
They have beer where we have blood.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He's on the porch naked. Help.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
