Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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