Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
