He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
