i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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