I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
