When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
