I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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