I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
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