Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i wish starbucks made bloody marys

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  (314): i wish starbucks made bloody marys http://tfl.nu/p9ip
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  (718): View more from New York

  walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)

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  (718): walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :) http://tfl.nu/3uv4
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.

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  (678): If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class. http://tfl.nu/m667
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  (425): View more from Washington

  This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.

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  (425): This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference. http://tfl.nu/xg4w
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.

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  (409): Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing. http://tfl.nu/yp46
  Replies (22) Good night (1648) Bad night (5003)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"

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  (856): we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon" http://tfl.nu/pn3g
  Replies (4) Good night (3999) Bad night (707)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall

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  (219): I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall http://tfl.nu/2grv
  Replies (10) Good night (2435) Bad night (1516) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.

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  (707): At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon. http://tfl.nu/h8sp
  Replies (3) Good night (1102) Bad night (1199) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.

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  (507): We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do. http://tfl.nu/66ti
  Replies (4) Good night (1194) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.

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  (607): I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid. (1-607): Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late. http://tfl.nu/e8gd
  Replies (8) Good night (1736) Bad night (554)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation

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  (406): I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation http://tfl.nu/qkc0
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.

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  (435): Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that. http://tfl.nu/d2qc
  Replies (11) Good night (802) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.

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  (563): My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow. (1-563): I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning. http://tfl.nu/zocz
  Replies (9) Good night (1559) Bad night (367)
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  (760): View more from California

  Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away

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  (760): Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away http://tfl.nu/rpjr
  Replies (1) Good night (861) Bad night (250) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...

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  (208): This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king... http://tfl.nu/nr91
  Replies (1) Good night (454) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt

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