and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Randomize
