he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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