who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
