Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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