I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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