we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
