Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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