Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
