If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
