Grow some girl-balls and come out already
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
