party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
