alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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