And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
