they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
