I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i out mim tonsoeep
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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