Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
