Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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