Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i think i just lost a toe
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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