Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
