It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
