im six kinds of drunk right now
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize