Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
