Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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