I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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