oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
