just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
