he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
