Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
