All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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