Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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