why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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