Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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