I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
