I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
