she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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