the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
