i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
